I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
