I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I will die if light touches me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
