New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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