I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
