go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Are my feet made of real feet?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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