I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize