I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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