why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize