You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
