I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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