It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
