Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
worst night to have a conscience
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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