why didn't you poke me back
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
