Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
