my mouth tastes like poor choices
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
