You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
