So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
They have beer where we have blood.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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