Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
