Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
