I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
