Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
