she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize