Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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