jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
false alarm, still single
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
