I want to make a zoo with you.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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