Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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