These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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