tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I can't turn off my feet"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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