hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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