Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
