at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
zippers are such a cool invention
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
