I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
