i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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