They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
3 2 1 whiskey
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize