i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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