...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
