Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
