if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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