You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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