Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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