My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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