i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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