What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
