loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
