So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
