But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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