I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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