we have officially lost it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
