ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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