I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
