He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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