white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
