I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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