Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
