It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
