A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
