shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize