is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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