so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize