I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize