I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
