absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
