she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
