I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
