I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
