I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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