Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
