He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
