My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
