We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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