Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
