no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
