I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize