I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
